Happiness as a Choice

Dennis Prager's column today brings up an interesting point about happiness and how we should feel an obligation not to burden others:

Consider the effects of an unhappy parent on a child. Ask people raised by an unhappy parent if that unhappiness hurt them.

Consider the effects of an unhappy spouse on a marriage.

Consider the effects of unhappy children on their parents. I know a couple that has four middle-aged children of whom three are truly extraordinary people, inordinately well adjusted and decent. The fourth child has been unhappy most of his life and has been a never-ending source of pain to the parents. That one child's unhappiness has always overshadowed the joy that the parents experience from the other three children. Hence the saying that one is no happier than one's least happy child.

Consider the effects of a brooding co-worker on your and your fellow workers' morale -- not to mention the huge difference between working for a happy or a moody employer.

We should regard bad moods as we do offensive body odor. Just as we shower each day so as not to inflict our body odors on others, so we should monitor our bad moods so as not to inflict them on others. We shower partly for ourselves and partly out of obligation to others. The same should hold true vis a vis moods; and just as we avoid those who do not do something about their body odor we should avoid whenever possible those who do nothing about their bad moods.

Counter to what our culture says, the Bible commands us to regulate and control our emotions. Society says you just "fall in love" and "fall out of love," and that you can't force yourself to be thankful or feel positive if it doesn't just come naturally.

But if you're a Christian, that isn't what your Bible says. In it, we are commanded to love (whether we like it or not), to meet our responsibilities whether we feel like it or not, and to be content and give thanks in all things whether we want to or not. We can control our moods; God wouldn't have told us to if it weren't possible.

We obviously can't legislate happiness (darn it, Right wingers love to legislate things that promote personal responsibility, so this is a disappointment), but perhaps it's something we should take on as an obligation--like courtesy and compassion.