Andrew Tallman has a very thoughtful piece at TownHall.com today. It makes so much sense that I'm a little depressed that I didn't think of it first.
Tallman says that while he was raised to be a Christian who takes the Bible seriously, he's been trying to learn and become more open minded. In doing so, he's learned something from homosexual activists:
For as long as I can remember, homosexuals have been explaining why gay people have no choice about their orientation. And it finally dawned on me that their arguments explain why being anti-gay is also not a choice but an innate predisposition beyond our power to restrain. This led me to embrace my convictions and stop trying in vain to repress who I am.
Tallman points out that homosexuals tell us that they can't help who they love, so they must follow through on that passion. Well...
But passions can be both for and against. And, just as gay love is a passion which is impossible to control, I now know that my passionate anti-gayness must also be impossible to control. I might wish I could change, but it’s hopeless. My judgmental tendency draws me as irresistibly as their same-sex affection.
In reaching this point, Tallman also realizes that it would be wrong for him to deny his homophobic passions--even if he was able to do so:
So it must be truly unhealthy to try repressing something as innate as opposition to homosexuality.
Tallman further points out that, in our politically correct world where anyone who disapproves of homosexual behavior is an outcast, a heathen, a person of pity and scorn, that no one would actually choose to live such a life of ridicule and rejection. Therefore homophobia must be innate and not a choice.
Tallman has come the realization that homophobia, like homosexuality, is not a choice.
I admit that Tallman's argument is compelling, but change isn't easy. I will have to grapple with this, but acceptance and change may be just around the corner for ole Bob Ellis.
I may be on the verge of coming out of the closet and accepting my homophobia. I'm sure I will receive full tolerance and celebration from the tolerant homosexual activists.
Just the thought of it is so liberating!
24 comments:
Wait, I thought that you poor misunderstood homophobes first were not homophobes, you were good christians, and you were in the majority and the evil homosexuals were perverting judges with their sick judicial activism, so I think that undermines one of the tenets of your silly arguement. Second, isn't being a christian a choice, well, now ... I know that it used to be forced on people by torture, but I mean now, isn't it up to you to be a good christian? You believe in your god, supposedly, and it is your god who says love your neighbor as yourself. Well, aren't you being right neighborly!
Oh Bob, I just LOVE your witty sarcasm! Have you heard of a guy named Matthew Shepherd? He would have gotten SUCH a kick out of this article!
God has chosen all of us to be Christian & to follow his teachings - including you!
Homosexuality is no different than any other adulterous sin or any sin for that matter. They are equally damaging, especially when you keep indulging in the sin.
The difference between what you want to call homophobic and the fear of what homosexuals are promoting through our government; is that we fear government mandates that encourage homosexual lifestyles. We don't need to fear any SIN because God has conquered sin for us through Jesus Christ.
Most People don't want to talk about religion or politics, asilomar, you must be a glutton for 'em!
Wait wait Bob, I have a better idea. You should email Matthew Shepherd's mother and tell her that homophobia is normal, natural, and healthy! While you're at it, head to a gay biker bar in San Francisco and tell all the guys there that it's good to be homophobic. Let's see how confident you are then!
Not to suggest that all homosexuals are murdering rapists predators, but Jesse Dirkhising's family would likely agree with this piece, don't you think. Parents of the victims of Jeffrey Dahmer, Wayne Gayce or Wayne Williams might find justification of their "homophobia" reassuring, too.
You're right, Asilomar. I had been denying my homophobia all these years, but I think I'm ready to come to terms with it now. I'm just glad that choices--especially moral ones--are beyond my control. It makes living with my hatred of homosexuals much easier to bear--in fact, I can now celebrate it.
This article is disgusting, and typical of Dakota. You should be ashamed of yourselves; living in the dark ages. Homophobia is hatred. Perhaps you should stop being hypocrites and do what the bible tells you: kill the gays, the female's who aren't virgins on their wedding days, anyone who works on the sabbath, or insults their parents...
This article is vile. And if the bible were true, Jesus would be turning on his crucifix.
Anonymous 9:16, don't be surprised when Bob disagrees with you. But if this article really isn't hateful, let's see how he'd feel if a victim of anti-gay violence were to read it. Something tells me they won't find it so amusing.
How disappointingly intolerant of you, Anonymous 9:16. Since homosexuals and apologists for homosexuals preach tolerance, I expected a little tolerance for my innate homophobia.
How hateful of you!
Again, Bob, if you knew someone who was hurt or killed as a result of homophobia, maybe you would take this a little more seriously and it wouldn't seem like such a joke. I pray God will grant you some understanding one day.
(A serious aside here) I have never condoned violence toward homosexuals. Homophobia, even if it were real, does not equate with violence. Fear is a feeling, not an action.
And apparently you not only lack understanding, but also lack a sense of humor. This should have pointed out the silliness of some of the pro-homosexual arguments.
Apparently it fell on deaf ears for those lacking a sense of humor and a sense of logic.
Or maybe it was just an abominably poor and tasteless attempt at humor.
My boyfriend was arrested a few months ago for a minor nonviolent crime he'd committed. While he was in his holding cell awaiting bail, a large African-American man who was arrested for murder asked my boyfriend if he was "a queer." My boyfriend's reluctance in answering was enough. The cellmate noticed his hesitation, and proceeded to punch my boyfriend in the back for a few minutes while a couple of his buddies held him face-first against the wall. My boyfriend's back was purple and stiff for a few weeks, and it took him even longer to finally open up and tell me all that had happened. He said he'd never been so scared in his life. He spent two days in a cell with a homophobic man suspected of murder, and he truly thought he was going to die.
You're right that homophobia doesn't always result in violence. But think about where all anti-gay violence comes from. As far as I'm concerned, the only difference between people like you and people who commit violence against homosexuals is the degree to which they allow their homophobia to consume them.
I chose not to post this comment anonymously, because hopefully pairing a name with a story will put a minor crack in that unloving, unsympathetic, stone-cold heart of yours. I'm sure that safe, uneventful South Dakota hardly ever sees situations like the one I described, and you probably don't know anyone who has experienced what my boyfriend went through. You may even think I made the whole thing up. Well, I didn't; no one in their right mind would ever WANT to say that the love of their life got beaten up in prison simply for BEING a certain way, a certain way that happened to be something that made his cellmate uncomfortable for probably the same reasons it makes you uncomfortable. And now you're saying that it's RIGHT for people like him to be uncomfortable. So is it any wonder why anti-gay violence exists?
You seem to think that homophobia is a laughing matter. It isn't, under any circumstances. You are no better than my boyfriend's cellmate. Civil words cannot express what a disgusting, ugly, and hateful person you are. I would tell you what I really think of you, but I don't want to be censored because other readers deserve the chance to see HOW NORMAL, NATURAL, AND HEALTHY HOMOPHOBIA REALLY IS! SO GO ON, LAUGH ABOUT IT, BOB!!
You should be ashamed of yourself. If you have any shred of human decency in your black heart, you will retract this article.
Alex
Thanks for putting your name to the comment, Alex, and, for a change, not engaging in your usual irrelevant mockery.
But I will not retract this piece because it is a perfect illustration of the fallacy of the oft promoted lie that homosexual behavior is beyond the control of the individual and you just have to "go with the flow."
That lie has been slain by its own flawed logic.
I wonder Bob? When did you chose to be hetero? Do you remember ever being atracted to men? Did you strugle with your fragil sexuality during your teen years and then made the brave choice of being hetero? If that is the case that would explain your pittiful need to embrace homofobia. good for you
Another serious aside, here.
Heterosexuality is normal. It's what I was created to be. It's what all men and women were created to be.
Homosexuality is an aberrant behavior. It can be overcome just as any aberrant behavior can be overcome. But you have to want to overcome it before you can.
Alex's story of the abuse of his boyfriend is, indeed, sad. Note, however, that the assailant was an accused murderer! Might that fact have had more to do with the assault than his dislike of homosexuals?
I know personally of a case where three young Army privates were plied with alcohol, drugged with phenobarbital and repeatedly raped by two homosexual officers after being invited to one of the officer's appartment for Thanksgiving dinner. Should I generalize about homosexuals based upon this event?
Because I believe homosexuality to be against God's will, detrimental to society as a whole, and a destructive life-style for the many reasons already discussed, does that make me a violent and hateful person toward homosexuals? No. In fact, I come into contact professionally with both male and female homosexuals and treat them respectfully and with the dignity due all of God's children. It's unfair and spurious to equate political, medical and moral opposition to homosexuaity with hatefulness and violence.
Well at least it is a more honest approach. I would be careful though. Like in twelve step programs the first step in overcoming a problem is accepting that it is a problem. Admitting you are homophobic could be the first step in a recovery process. Next thing you know you may be loving, kind and tolerant to all.
But Dave, you miss the point. This isn't like AA where I admit I have a problem. I'm admitting that homophobia is normal, natural and healthy--something to be embraced and celebrated.
Why would I want to be loving, kind and tolerant when homophobic is how God created me?
Bob,
Do you know why my boyfriend was assaulted? It wasn't because he made a pass at his cellmate or told him all about what kind of sex he has with me. He was beaten up because his honesty got the best of him, and his cellmate was so uncomfortable with the mere possibility that a man could be attracted to another man that he found it necessary to teach my boyfriend a lesson. And yet you consistently affirm and celebrate the very feeling that resulted in my boyfriend getting beaten up? You consider it HEALTHY? Something is very wrong with you.
You don't know how lucky you are never to have to worry that someone will hurt you or make you literally fear for your life solely because you have sex with a woman. If I were the kind of person you are, malicious and heartless, I would wish this upon you.
People like you are all the same: you think you have the best intentions and claim to understand. But you don't. You will never understand. And what do you do in the meantime? You laugh about it. You make fun of it. You treat it like a joke for your sick amusement and for the chance to encourage a "fair" discussion about the issue, where you pretend to show interest in the opinions of people not like you and give yourself a chance to prove how right you think you are.
If you only knew how cruel you were being. If you only knew how far from comical any of this is. Take a moment and remember a passage from that book you love to quote so much: love your neighbor as yourself. I doubt that includes making light of homophobia.
Alex, have I ever even once condoned violence against homosexuals? I think you know the answer is "No."
His assault was a crime which should have been prosecuted.
However, I don't think it's fair or accurate to say that it was because of "homophobia"--which (again, serious aside here) is a load of garbage in most cases. The man you described had no respect for anyone's well being. THAT was the reason for the assault, and your boyfriend's homosexuality was just the excuse.
Assault is no joke. "Homophobia" as the term is commonly used, however, is, along with most of the propaganda surrounding the choice to engage in homosexual behavior.
As I said before, this little exercise has been a humorous way of illustrating the absolute fallacy of the oft-repeated homosexual contention that "I'm born that way" and "I can't change."
And I think the point has been well made, even to you.
Bob,
Were you in the cell with my boyfriend and his attacker? Do you know either of them personally? Then how can you tell me -- not theorize or speculate, but TELL me -- what the cellmate's motive was for assaulting my boyfriend? How can you be so sure that my boyfriend's orientation was merely the excuse, and not the reason, for his attack? Until he asked his question, my boyfriend's cellmate had been calmly indifferent toward him; he even said hello to my boyfriend when the guard brought him in. Funny how people can view you in a completely different light when they find out you happen to love a certain way.
I have gay friends whose parents kicked them out of the house when they came out. If homophobia doesn't exist, as you believe, then I guess my friends' parents did this because they really don't love their kids at all and were just waiting for a justifiable excuse to disown them, right? Or maybe, just maybe, they are so disgusted by homosexuality that they felt the need to get it as far away from them as possible, even if it meant ending their relationship with their kid. Are you honest enough to admit that comments like "homosexuality is an abomination against God" are partly responsible for situations like this, for creating broken homes and destroyed relationships between children and parents?
Here's another question: if people like you preached that instead of homosexual behavior being a disgusting perversion and a threat to the survival of society, it was normal, natural, and healthy, do you think my boyfriend's attack would have taken place? Do you think Matthew Shepherd would have been kidnapped and murdered by two complete strangers if their parents had taught them to accept homosexuality? Would they have found a straight person to victimize instead? What about those two Iranian teenagers who were executed after it was discovered that they were in a homosexual relationship -- do you think the Iranian government would have had them killed if the general opinion was that it's ok to be homosexual?
Gay people's claims of homophobia are not unfounded, melodramatic delusions. Homophobia is real; it exists and it has life-altering consequences. It can be -- and has been -- the sole reason why some gay people are attacked, raped, and murdered.
Yet you think it's something to joke about. You should be thankful that God is so forgiving.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out such things, Alex.
You said yourself that this guy had been arrested for murder. He obviously has so little respect for others that he's even willing to take a life. It's no stretch to understand that someone so disposed would easily move from passivity to assault against something that offered him the slightest irritation.
There are also plenty of people around the world who will assault or kill a Christian just upon finding out that they're a Christian. Are they homophobes with a displacement disorder that causes them to attack Christians when no homosexuals are around? Or is it more likely that they're simply brutes who, like I said before, don't respect other people's human dignity and will strike out at whatever seems to irritate them?
The attack on your boyfriend would have happened regardless of whether people like me or James Dobson or anyone else taught that homosexuality is a perversion of God's design for human sexuality and is a sin. Do you seriously think someone like this murderer is listening to Focus on the Family or me or some other preacher and looking for marching orders? I know you're not that stupid.
There are people out there who don't like homosexuality simply because it's alien to them, or are threatened by it for some reason, and because they are already disinclined to respect another person's human dignity will assault them.
There are also others out there who don't like homosexuality because it is counter to what they know is normal sexual behavior, is a sin, and is unhealthy...and these other people recognize at the same time the human dignity of those performing the homosexual acts, do NOT assault them, and would like to see them delivered from homosexuality so they could live a normal, healthy life that puts them in a position so that there is no urepented sin between them and God.
That's what I'd like to see you experience, Alex, and so would God. He wants so much better for you! But he also allows you the free will to hide behind excuses of "homophobia" if that's what you're determined to do.
"There are people out there who don't like homosexuality simply because it's alien to them, or are threatened by it for some reason."
You've just defined homophobia, so how can you say it doesn't exist and type it with quotation marks?
I think it's safe to say you'd call me a homophobe. Yet I'm not threatened by or afraid of homosexuality in the slightest.
I do, however, recognize that it is immoral, unnatural and unhealthy, and am not afraid to say so.
So to call someone a "homophobe" simply because they disapprove of homosexuality is inaccurate and disingenuous.
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