August in Denver: Standby for Fun

When liberals are forced to the periphery of power, as they have been since at least 1994 and up until the last few years, they still hold socialist, big government, nanny-state, un-American ideas, but usually have sense enough to moderate their message to the voting masses knowing that their ideas just don’t appeal much to the God-country-guns-cheeseburgers and fries-Pabsts Blue Ribbon crowd.

Not so when they sense a shift of political winds in their favor. When the Democrats win some congressional seats by running distinctly conservative candidates and when they have been successful in their efforts to influence political discourse in their favor with the complicity of a sycophant national media, well now, the time is right to flex one’s muscles and implement some of the wacky ideas so carefully secreted from the public debate until the time was right.

First up, we have Denver mayor, John Hickenlooper who has imposed his will upon the Democratic National Committee (not that it took much cajoling) saying let’s “make this the greenest convention in the history of the planet.” Where to begin? For starters, there will be no fried foods of any kind at any official functions of the DNC at the convention. No fried chicken, no fried green tomatoes, no gyoza, no chimichangas. Never mind that deep fat frying is a mainstay of Southern and soul-food cuisine and according to food experts ““[It] has been called ‘a cooking technique which Africans introduced to America.’” No one expects to win the south anyway and everyone knows how African-Americans will vote.

Next, the city of Denver has to see to it that they are not embarrassed by the homeless population. After all, homelessness is a Republican problem and so can’t be seen on national television during the Democratic National Convention in a liberal bastion like Denver. What to do? Solution: Round them up, all 4000 of them, force them into shelters and make sure they are "comfortable" with flat-screen TVs, cable and bingo games. A menu of snacks and beverages is yet to be announced. This will all be financed by private donations from the community. This all puts me in mind of the plan by LA officials a few years back to give shopping carts to the homeless in order to make life a little better for them.

Liberalism is so much fun to watch when it starts getting some traction. It’s just that beneath all the frivolity lies great and menacing danger to ourselves and our country. As a TV sitcom, I would never miss an episode of Liberalism in the City, but in real life it scares the hell out of me.