Howard Dean: Gettin' That Ole-Time Religion

After I picked myself up off the floor from laughing so hard at this, I thought I'd examine this article's claims a bit more closely. After all, Mr. Dean could be onto something.

Dean said that "one of the misconceptions about the Democratic Party is that we're godless and that we don't have any values."

Just because you're Godless and don't have any values? Nah, I'd never think you were Godless and didn't have any values, just because you're Godless and don't have any values.

"The truth is, we have an enormous amount in common with the Christian community, and particularly with the evangelical Christian community,” Dean said. “And one of the biggest things that Democrats worry about is the materialism of our country, what's on television that our kids are seeing, and the lack of spirituality. And that's something we have in common."

And you plan to fix that by fostering, at every turn, greed and envy over what the "rich" have that others who didn't work for it don't; fix the cesspool of television by denouncing any attempt to rein in the filth in media as "imposing your morals on others;" and counter the lack of spirituality by telling people that their faith is so irrelevant that it should only be practiced on Sunday, never intrude in government/public circles in any way, and you should never tell anyone about your faith lest you be labeled a proselytizer. Good plan.

“Well, let's discuss abortion first,” Dean said. “I think what we have in common with the evangelical community is that we ought to have a lot fewer abortions than we do."

And your plan to reduce abortions is to fight any restriction on abortion whatsoever. Ah, another smart plan.

“The Democratic Party platform from 2004 says that marriage is between a man and a woman. That's what it says."

That's why the Democrat Party as a whole believes Joe and Steve should be able to sodomize each other on a regular basis and call it "marriage." Yep, another good idea.

There were lots of other good points in this piece, but I don't have time to examine them right now. I have to attend a meeting of the American Taliban to figure out how we can institute a theocracy and keep women barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen before returning home to beat my servile wife and indoctrinate my children in the myth of creation. After that, though, I'm going to go register as a Democrat right now! I've been in the wrong party all these years!